Loving two...

So I have to admit the closer I get to having baby girl, the more my heart sorta melts a little. I am so excited to be adding to our family, I cannot even express the excitement to see her and hold her, to have two little ones in our life. It melts my heart every time I walk down our hall way and I look into G's and baby girls room. I feel so blessed.

but

there is a protective part of me with G that I know this little one is going to need lots of attention and will have more "needs" at first than he does now. He's had my undivided attention for two years and I am nervous how is going to handle sharing Daddy and I. The past two weeks the very thought of him being away from me while I am at the hospital brings tears to my eyes. Yes, he is staying with Pa and G-barba, but I am protective and as much as I like the break, I like being able to roll over and check on him on the monitor anytime during the night I want. I love that the past three weeks when he wakes up he calls for me... I love we take naps together and he hugs me anytime I ask... and I don't want anything to change our relationship.

I found this poem and I thought it was so appropriate.

So to my special little boy this is for you....

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.

I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Author Unknown