Loving two...

So I have to admit the closer I get to having baby girl, the more my heart sorta melts a little. I am so excited to be adding to our family, I cannot even express the excitement to see her and hold her, to have two little ones in our life. It melts my heart every time I walk down our hall way and I look into G's and baby girls room. I feel so blessed.

but

there is a protective part of me with G that I know this little one is going to need lots of attention and will have more "needs" at first than he does now. He's had my undivided attention for two years and I am nervous how is going to handle sharing Daddy and I. The past two weeks the very thought of him being away from me while I am at the hospital brings tears to my eyes. Yes, he is staying with Pa and G-barba, but I am protective and as much as I like the break, I like being able to roll over and check on him on the monitor anytime during the night I want. I love that the past three weeks when he wakes up he calls for me... I love we take naps together and he hugs me anytime I ask... and I don't want anything to change our relationship.

I found this poem and I thought it was so appropriate.

So to my special little boy this is for you....

Loving Two

I walk along holding your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship. Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited. And I wonder: how could I ever love another child as I love you?

Then she is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me as you've never shared me before.

I hear you telling me in your own way, Please love only me. And I hear myself telling you in mine, I cant, knowing, in fact, that I never can again.

You cry. I cry with you. I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared. A relationship we can never quite have again.

But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty. I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her as though I am betraying you.

But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.

More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine. The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.

But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two. There are new times only now, we are three. I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.

I watch how she adores you as I have for so long. I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments. And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, Ive given something to you. I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you. I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong. And my question is finally answered, to my amazement. Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you only differently.

And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love. There is enough of that for both of you .you each have your own supply.

I love you-both. And I thank you both for blessing my life.

Author Unknown

Ready!

Your name has been chosen.
Bassinet is set up in our room.
Daddy, Mommy, Gideon and your bags are packed.
House is semi-cleaned.
We are super excited to get to hold & see you.
Having contractions for 2 weeks solid isn't a whole lot of fun.

Baby Girl -
When you are ready so are we :-)

80 Years!

We celebrated my Grandma D's 80th birthday on Sunday. Yes in the heat and yes outdoors. I always knew I was from a big family, but this was reaffirmed this weekend when I was taking pictures. One thing that my dad's family does not have in common with my mom's is that they dont take very many pictures. My other Grandma wouldn't leave the house with out her camera being in her pocketbook(purse). So I was determined to take lots of pictures on Sunday. This was a great plan until I got started and realized this wasnt going to be an easy task. I wanted to make my grandma a scrapbook with all her kids, grandkids, great-grandkids and great-great grandkids.... about half way into the project I was regretting my decision but I was determined to see it through, heat and all.

Trying to get families or groups are not always easy when she has 6 kids, 19 grandkids, over 31 great-grandkids and 2 great-great grandchildren. I would say about 80% of the family was there, not counting 8 of her siblings.

Here are some of the groups....I told you I was from a large family :-)

Tonka trucks

Well my brother bestowed his Tonka trucks on me with the condition that when I had a little boy he gets to play with them. I unboxed them today, and G found them and went crazy for them. Here's the video. Oh, and G says thanks Uncle Brad :)

A bit of art for the baby

When we decided on the baby's room theme, I was planning to paint letters to match it, like, Eiffel Tower on the A, that sort of thing. Then Tammy mentioned wanting some children around the world stuff to hang in there, and I said, "Well I can do that." It became much more involved of a project than originally planned. First I made sketches of the children:







Then painted some precut wooden people popsicle sticks:






Then did some woodcutting to make the hats and hair:







Then I decided to cut my own front piece to be the Earth, and used my Dremel to round the edges off:






Then I painted the Earth:






Then put it all together and we have the complete result (drumroll please):







Look closely to see our family on top of the world... :)

I'm still debating whether to paint her name on it, or make it a clock (it does have 24 people so a clock would work well). Still, this has turned out far more impressive than I had originally imagined, and I hope she will treasure it as much as I enjoyed making it.

Terrible Thursday = Terrific Thursday

Yesterday started off on a bad note, Gideon woke up in a bad mood, we where late getting out the door due to a diaper explosion and then when we got his school he had a total meltdown. He is usually really good about going to preschool, yesterday was not the case, tears ran like the Mississippi. Great way to start the day. I head to work and the day did not get better. Sitting in a chair for 8 hours when you are 8 months pregnant is not fun. I usually try getting up and walking around ever hour or two (per doctor's orders) but that didnt even seem to help. My computer locked up about 4 times which is so much fun to sit and have to restart all your programs. So by the time 5:00 came I was out the door still in a bad mood.

Then I walked into preschool to pick up G and there is nothing that can make you smile more than to have your little boy run up to you and say "I had fun with my friends", my mood started going uphill. He is talking non-stop now which I love so on the way home he talked about how he played outside in the sprinklers and he played with playdo.... when we got home Josh was already home grilling steaks(I love a man that knows when to step up without being asked). It ended up being the perfect night, weather wise. Josh and Gideon played in the pool and I sat out soaking my feet enjoying my family. We headed in about 8:30 and G went to bed without any problems and I am happy to say that I was in bed by 10. I love days that start out bad end up being great!