Restless

So the past two weeks it seems like I have had a lot on my mind, the day before Father's Day I learned that a friend of mine had committed suicide. He was 38 years old and had 3 adorable children. We had worked together for about 5 years at two different places, I hadn't really talked with him the past year or so, but at one time would of considered him a really close friend.

It has weighed on my mind lately. I have been blessed in life with tons of friends. Some have been/will be lifelong friends and others have only been for a season. Looking back if I would of told this person that in 5 years you are going to end your life, he would of laughed in my face and called me crazy. I wonder what changed that you would feel so hopeless and think this is the only way to solve "life's problems".

I feel extremely blessed in my life, I am married to a wonderful person, I have an adorable little boy, a little girl on the way, great family and my list goes on...but there have been times in my past that I struggled with life, but never was ending it an option. I believe in the "after life" and I also believe that the decisions we make here we will be accountable there.

I have struggled with this, I know I don't know the whole situation and I am sure I never will.